are you ready for red?
i tend to go through phases of liking certain channels so i’ll just make a list of those i’ve been really liking at the moment!
batalash beauty (their looks are so fucking bomb and sam’s personality is fucking cute), chelseawears, essiebuttonvlogs, ghostparties, lipstickandsunshine, olanrogers (always), shaaanxo, nikkietutorials and sunbeamsjess
i also have been watching a lot of skyrim videos recently and my favorite series is skyrim’s hidden treasures. i also work for and watch sonsofvidya. i’ve been wanting to get into more video game related channels but i haven’t found a lot that play games i enjoy recently. i still watch pewdiepie of course but he hasn’t really been playing too many games that catch my interest these days.
and here we have the bummie fanboy mating display …..
as a person with anxiety, i would say in my personal experience, anxiety isn’t something i’ve gotten over and i don’t think it’s something that you really get over. it’s something that you learn to cope with and yes some anxieties i think can be thwarted forever, but it’s something to work on and work to stay healthy about in general. my anxiety has never been treated by a psychiatrist or even by a therapist though so i do think it’s something you can cope with without such things, but it does very much depend on the person and the severity of your anxiety! however i think if you believe that you can and you work on it diligently, then it is something that you can get to a better place. that being said i am absolutely 100% not a believer in the idea of just doing things that scare you because then you’ll get over it!!!! i don’t think that’s how it works. no matter how many times i call places, it’s always going to make me anxious before i do it. but the more often i do it, the easier it becomes not to agonize over it before and after i do it. so i think in my case it has been about working on specific anxieties and also being okay with the fact that some of them are always going to bug you and you may need help or you may just cringe a lot through doing it but that’s okay! for instance like i’m never ever going to breeze through doing paperwork for school and things like that, it’s always going to bug me and cause me anxiety. but i’ve learned that it’s okay to ask for help, it’s okay to be like “i can’t do this right now because if i try i’m going to have a panic attack”. i have learned the hard way that putting things off makes things worse, but sometimes it happens and you can’t beat yourself up about it.
i think the biggest thing that has helped my anxiety is self soothing. either writing or just thinking and repeating words to yourself that are soothing. for instance i often write/repeat self assurance statements. even as simple as “it’s going to be okay”. it sounds stupid but it’s so helpful. take a moment, shut everything out, breathe slowly and carefully and repeat to yourself that it’s going to be okay. or that you’re going to be fine. or that you can handle whatever it is in front of you. even if you don’t believe it, taking that time to meditate and try to soothe yourself can be really helpful. it might not be helpful to you, but i know it’s immensely helpful to me. writing it down can be helpful if you find that just breathing and thinking it isn’t being helpful. visualizing whatever problem you are having that is making you have anxiety just being pushed away from you is good. the use of soothing music or certain activities that help distract you can be good too. for instance if i am feeling anxious and i play a video game, afterwards i feel a lot better. for some people knitting might be more helpful, or writing, or playing with a pet or whatever! it could be anything. but take note of what helps soothe your anxiety and try and find as many ways as possible. and avoiding things that give you anxiety that you can avoid! for instance you can’t avoid school really, but you can avoid facebook if it makes you feel anxious. you can and you should. there’s no rule that says you need to do things that are extraneous that make you anxious. you don’t need to go to parties or do things for other people or spend time on social media if it makes your anxiety worse. if you want to but it also makes your anxiety worse then by all means go for it but i think a lot of people with anxiety - myself included - tend to feel as though they have to do certain things even when they are extraneous. but you don’t. of course it’s very possible that your anxiety might be too severe and these things may not help, if that’s the case then seeing someone might be really helpful :( but there are also A LOT of helpful resources online. i would suggest these and these
my advice would be don’t worry about it. don’t even think about it. i mean to some extent you’re going to think about it and it’s okay if you want to date someone, but i think that generally speaking going out and looking for someone to date can be something that is frustrating as well as fruitless. the better thing to do in my opinion is to remember a couple of things. first being that the world drills into your brain that you need to be with someone to be a full complete person and that is not true. if you never date anyone in your life, you are just as full and complete and not sad or pointless or dumb or ugly or anything like that. you are a full person and dating isn’t something necessary to ones happiness, nor is it necessary to become a full person. you are a full person and being with someone should be complimentary and full of support and caring. secondly, there are a lot of things in the world that are more important than romantic and/or sexual relationships, again despite what society or the world might try to make you believe. friendships are so important, finding your passion is important, learning is important, making yourself feel full and standing on your own two feet to some extent, these things are important. again, a romantic and/or sexual relationship can be complimentary to all of these things and finding such a relationship can help support those things but it is absolutely not necessary.
i think my biggest dating advice overall though is, date someone you’re able to be friends with. that’s not true for all people and yes sometimes people meet and it’s just romantic and it works and it’s great. but being friends with someone first and having a strong friendship connection before embarking on a relationship in my opinion is really really important. because friendships are so so so important, and being able to be friends with someone in my opinion is the end all be all. you should want to be around this person and trust them and be on the same level as them and they should be interested in or at least respect the things that you enjoy and you should feel the same for them and you both should be able to create a place where you can both share your lives and your interests and the romantic and/or sexual parts of the relationship are just an add on to that. that’s my advice. don’t go out trying to get a boyfriend or girlfriend or partner. make friends and see if things deepen from there. or at least start relationships with people who you would want to be friends with. and also just don’t stress about it. if you haven’t dated yet, it will happen at some point. work on yourself, do you, become the happiest you you can be - which is totally possible without a relationship - and you’ll probably find that when you are happy and assured you will find someone to share things with. that’s what i think. people are very attracted to people who are happy at least in some ways or in different aspects of their lives. and that sort of sounds as though that means you can’t be depressed and find a relationship and that’s not what i mean at all. it’s hard to explain but i think focusing on everything else to try and make your life the best it can be, instead of focusing on getting a relationship is a better use of time and you will be happier and find that you draw people towards you in that way